Knowledge is Power…

Knowledge is Power…Know when your cup is empty!

No warm ups, no refills, just empty!  Who forgot to refill the coffee pot, replace the filter, grind the coffee beans???  ME!!!  Did the time in the week just slip away?  Did someone distract me?  No, take accountability for pouring into everyone else this week, but yourself Cathy.  Thursday hosted family brunch with all seven of my grand babies, Friday supporting my dad in his grief and sorrow as well as my own from the death of my mom 12 months ago. Juan Valdez was picky about his coffee beans always careful to pick just the right one.  “Remember this feeling Cathy,”  I say to myself consciously so as not to revisit this place anytime soon.  I’m weakened physically and emotionally, mentally tired, and need to be recharged spiritually.  I need to be careful about how many coffee beans I give away and how many warms-ups I graciously pour.   I almost feel like I’m beyond the point of doing something for myself.  My next thought was, “I must have others do something for me.”  I can’t wait for that, I need my refill now. It’s like the pain of caffeine withdrawal.  Gotta have my fix.  I muster up the energy to indulge in a bubble bath with patchouli essential oils, ahhhhh exquisite. Shortly after, I treat myself to 90 minute full body massage, which was the perfect setting for prayer and meditation. As the massage therapist works on my feet, I think to myself, “mani/pedi next stop for sure!”

Mmmmmm…I’m feeling warm on the inside now…Could this be the first drop into my empty coffee cup?  As I snuggle into the massage chair at the nail salon savoring this moment,  two ladies are placed on each side of me for the same service. They both want to talk. One wants my opinion on nail polish and the other wants to talk to anybody about anything.  I will not be her next victim, because this moment is all about ME! Emotionally I smell the aroma of a fresh pot of coffee brewing. I can feel my energy, enthusiasm and zest for life returning. (2 Corinthians 4:16) Therefore, I consciously and graciously decline to give warm ups to these two women.  I gave myself permission and the power to say no, because I had the knowledge that my cup was empty!  At that moment I had a warm sense of pride.  Internally I was roasting, brewing, and French Pressing a decadent cup of coffee for myself.  So I say ladies…Know when your  cup is empty and give yourself the POWER to say NO.

Join me for our next brew of Coffee With Cathy as we discuss guilt free self-care.  Remember ladies, “we don’t stew, we brew!”   Visit my website to register.

 

 

42 thoughts on “Knowledge is Power…”

  1. Thanks for the reminder. I felt overwhelmed and drained recently. It wasn’t enough to just go to the gym I needed more. Looked at my toes and was shocked. They looked horrible. So I decided to go to get a pedi. I was selective about the spa and the time. Like you, I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to enjoy the moment and relax. I turned the massager on the chair, closed my eyes and let it go to work. Then I took myself to the movies and finished my me day. I filled my coffee cup and feel so much better. I remembered what you said about self care so I truly appreciate the reminder. Love you much.

    1. Ahhhhhhh Sheila, sounds like a wonderful day! So important to give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves. Sometimes that means saying NO to other things or other people. It doesn’t me No forever, it just means no until a fill myself up so that I have something to give, so that you can feel the joy that comes from giving. So proud of you! Can’t wait to see those toes;-) Love you my Shero!

  2. refill- fill up as often as needed. So much too keep us in need of a refill.
    We certainly have to take care of ourselves 1st to be in a better position to help those in our lives that we care about.

    1. Yesssss…so true. Giving from a full cup is joyful, when our cup is empty it becomes a duty instead of a joy. Warm up please!

  3. This was a great reminder to take time to do things that I enjoy! School and work always fill up my time. I have to remember though that I need to do things for myself even if its just something small, as well as keep things balanced. Thanks for the reminder!

    1. Your welcome Natalie…Yes small things really add up! It can be your favorite warm beverage in the morning on your drive home from work while listening to your favorite song. We can always steal a few moments in the day to call our own and feel good about it! 😉

  4. You are exactly right…we are all accountable for our own well being. This is not the responsibility of others. When we care for ourselves we not only feel better it sets an example to those who look up to us.

    1. Yes…we do. I can remember my mom working tirelessly, but she often took out time for a cup of tea while chatting on the phone with her girl friend. It’s funny how those moments mean so much more to me as an adult then they did when I was young…that was self care in her day;-) Thank you for your love and support Heidi! See you on the 28th.

  5. It’s nice to see so many women learning to take care of themselves! I have felt guilty for years to say no or “I’m tired”. I have recently started to pull back a little from exhausting myself to the point of a depleted cup. Though I know its important to my own health and self care, I still have guilt! Cathy you have taught me so much in such a short period of time and I think it’s because you make it look so easy (though I know it’s not). God gives you such a gracefulness about you that attracts people and makes them want to know how to live the same way! Looking forward to March 28th! Love u

    1. Awwww…Thank you Kiki. I can remember feeling the same way years ago when I first gave myself permission to take care of me first. I took a fresh look at Jesus’ statement to “love your neighbor as yourself.” I realized that I was doing a whole lot of loving on my neighbor without loving me. Meditating on his words and his example of replenishing himself gave me permissions to do the same. (Mark 1:35) Release the guilt and enjoy refilling your cup! Looking forward to seeing you the 28th! Much Love

  6. It’s not easy saying no. As women, we are always carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. I am discovering that my shoulders were not built for that, I much rather carry a nice handbag, scarf, etc…. 1 Peter 5:7 says ” cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you. Although I know it ‘s a process, I must admit that I’ve become a quick learner. What surprises me most is the response I receive from others ” it’s about time you start thinking about yourself”. Ladies, no more stewing for me, I’m brewing!!!!

    1. LOL! You go Rosalind! You look much better when your brewing while wearing those beautiful scarves and handbags. I’m so proud of the transition you’ve made. You’re right…it’s not easy, especially being natural born nurturers…we can definitely take some those things off our shoulders and give it to our Heavenly Father! Happy brewing my dear…see you on the 28th!

  7. I love this post. It truly allows us to be human. To recognize when we need to replenish and give ourselves permission to do so. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Yessss! Karen White said it best, “I’m not your Superwoman.” We can take off our capes and treat ourselves to something special. 😉

  8. Wow!!! Have you said a cup full and I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m visiting family in Florida and feeling guilty for not toughing out the nasty winter with the rest of my family and friends, as we all know Michiganders stick together and grumble through the colder days of ice and snow! I’m sure I’d have a better time if I didn’t care so much…responsibilities at home, and pleasing the ones I’m with. I really thought a get a way would do me good-a time to refocus, set goals, formulate new ideas. I keep saying tomorrow I want the entire day to be for me and before I know it, I’m hitting rewind as each day passes. I realize now I need to take charge of me, and only me, in order for me to live “my life”. Why does it seem so hard? I love your blog Cathy and hope to visit it often

    1. Thank you Tammy for your kinds words. Remember tomorrow never comes until we seize today. Make today the day you do something the fill your cup. I will have a new blog post every Monday…be sure to keep visiting. I love your comments…so great to hear from you. Love you!

  9. My life is so busy I have to remember to take care of myself. The epiphany usually comes after I feel exhausted from working, caring for husband, paying bills, cleaning house, Finding time for my parents, going to my sisters bridal shower, etc. All those things are important but what about ME. So if I can’t do anything else a nice long hot bubble bath while listening to my favorite songs I downloaded on my phone gets me to the next day. I feel you on that “I don’t wanna talk when I’m getting my pedicures or massages”. All I’m thinking while they’re trying to make small talk is “don’t they know this is my time and they’re ruining my experience”. I thought I was the only one who felt like that. So thank you for that. No more talking pedicures. Lol.

    1. LOL!!! No you’re not the only one. My mani/pedi time is just for me. Sometimes I even take along my ear buds and listen to my favorite music. You are right on track Sheila…it doesn’t always take a lot, it just takes the courage to say, “this time is for me!” It’s okay for my Shero to take off her cape every now and then;-)

  10. I know when my cup is empty. Refilling is the hard part. I have to get a full cup of tea somehow. It feels mighty good when I do. Thank you Cathy. I will try to do better.

    1. Yes, a full cup is nice. It’s kind of like the waitress who comes through the restaurant re-filling everyone’s cup without them asking…you only have to fill one. I know you can do it;-)

  11. I’m so thankful that you set a good example of this for me growing up. It is a powerful thing to know and love yourself enough to put yourself on that list of people to please 🙂 Thanks for this!

    1. Awwww…how special. You’re very welcome! I’m so proud to watch you as a woman in all you have to do in a day and yet you regularly take time out for yourself. You truly are working 30 and the Queen of your Castle;-)

  12. Love it! This is something that we as women are never taught and we find we have to learn it when it’s too late and our cups are dry as a bone. I also have mani/pedi on my agenda soon 🙂
    Thanks for this and I’ll be sharing it with my girlfriend who I know needs it.

    1. You’re welcome Lori! Enjoy your mani/pedi…you deserve it! I’m happy to see you regularly doing something for yourself. I have loved hearing your “girl’s weekend” stories for years now. That is an excellent example that you are setting for your girls, that it’s okay to do something for yourself.

  13. Aunty cathy!! This was fabulous!! YOU WERE RIGHT ON! Jehovah always tell us that you have to refill your tank before you can can help anyone else. And 2 Corinthians 4 is my favorite chapter. I would love to point out the verses 7-11, 15-18. Because that feeling of being overwhelmsed and bombarded is true because Satan makes sure that we can’t help ourselves or others. But Jehovah tells yes, you are hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted knocked down but with his help not witout movement, or no way out of the situation, abandoned or destroyed.

    As long as we look to Jehovah we have the power beyond normal to survive! Awesome post! And I cant wait for my next spa day now with something nice and hot to drink! Love you! Keep up the good work And May Jehovah continue to be with you and the family! Hug the kids for me!!

    Love your niece,
    Monique

    1. Thank you MO! It’s so nice to see young women as yourself understanding he concept of self-care. Most of us don’t get it until we’re older, frustrated and angry. Then we put our foot down! So happy you already know the value of self-care. Enjoy your next spa day. Love you!

  14. On my way to Starbucks to fill my cup. After that a little time for myself: mani/pedi. Then i will be ready to give and take care of other’s. Thanks for you words of wisdom and inspiration.

    1. You’re very welcome! Enjoy your day…savor every moment. You do so much for others it’s nice to know that you deserve to treat yourself well. We want your cup to be so full it runneth over. Enjoy my sister.

  15. This was very timely. I have a lot on my plate with family and other important responsibilities. It’s ok to take time to recharge myself. Saying no has always felt like pressure to me…. well its ok. Recharge 🙂
    Thanks Cathy.

    1. My Pleasure Benika! Saying “No” without the weight of guilt is a gift we can and should give ourselves. It helps us to be better wives, mothers, daughters, etc. When our cup is full we can find joy in fulfilling our roles. Sing it with me, “I’ve got the power!” 🙂

  16. No is such a simple yet difficult word to add to our vocabulary as women. I’m beginning to learn it and it’s refreshed me greatly.

    1. Great job Shae! You’re light years ahead of me. I didn’t learn how to say “No,” until my mid 30’s. I make it my goal to encourage all women to take out time to refresh themselves. We are instinctive nurturers, we just have to remember to nurture ourselves too. Most often it starts with the word, “No,” not to ourselves, but to others. Enjoy 😉

  17. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE – this Blog , I always believe its EXTREMELY

    important to take of me FIRST,(not selfish)

  18. Giving yourself the willingness/ability to say no is one of the most healthy releases you can do. It can make you feel so much lighter!!

  19. I am just learning over the last two years to fill my cup. My problem is I think sometimes I let it get too low that I am exhausted. How can I full my cup everyday or is it even possible? Am I just doing too much? I think I spilled my coffee. …Wow

    1. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this blog — I ALWAYS believe the importance of taking care of me in EVERYWAY — physically, emotionally, mentally and of course spiritually. Its interesting that we are talking about taking care of ourselves FIRST. Two weeks ago someone ask me ‘who takes care of me ” , she ask me that because she noticed I am always helping others or doing for others. My reply was – I take care of me regular so I have a lot it give to others! — Of course being single, with no husband, no kids,no dogs, no cats not even any fish, gives me more time then others yet. I’ve seen many people who are in the same situation as me and they neglected themselves. EVERTHING in life is about BALANCE!!!!

      Some people give too much while some don’t give enough, being able to say yes sometimes and no sometimes is BALANCE, something we are always striving for …BALANCE, because nobody is perfect we are NOT ALWAYS going to be balance but blogs like this is GREAT because its a reminder to remember ourselves so we can have ‘joy’ in taking care of others!

      1. Thank you Lisa! You do an awesome job of caring for yourself, that’s why you are always so bubbly and refreshing to be around. No, we are not perfect, but it’s nice to have the awareness and the courage to pour into ourselves. It’s one thing to have the awareness, but quite another to have the courage to do something about it. Some women don’t know what fills their cup. It’s a beautiful gift we give ourselves when we take the time to know what fills our cup. Keep smiling my dear friend!

    2. LOL…If you spilled your coffee Keeshi I can see you now jumping up to clean up the mess. It is possible to do a little something everyday to fill your cup. It could be listening to your favorite song on your way to work. Or lighting a candle at your desk before the kids come in and considering a positive thought for the day. Little things mean a lot when we are fully present in that moment and recognize that we’re stealing these few moments for ourselves. Become the waitress at the restaurant that repeatedly pours into your coffee cup, sometimes without our permission;-) Love you!

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