Spotlight

My Moment in the Spotlight

When I was in my late 20’s I had a memorable moment in the spotlight. I had the privilege of being a guest on a local morning TV show called, “Kelly & Company.” You see, they ran a promo ad asking their viewers to call in if they knew anyone who was a “supermom.” My best friend at the time called in and told them all about me! It’s funny, I never considered myself at the time to be a supermom, nor was I trying to be. I was just imitating life…the life I had seen as a child. However, when I look back, I had three young children all exactly two years apart. I loved being a mom. I thought I was put on this earth to be a mom. I followed in my mother’s footsteps in many ways. I was also quite the home maker. I made clothes for my children as well as myself, and made neck ties for my husband. I wallpapered, painted, made bedspreads and curtains. I even ran a small sewing business from my home. Whew! I’m tired just typing this. When I look back, I guess I would fit the description that moved my friend to make that call.

So the day finally arrives for our appearance on Kelly & Company. We take the stage and my friend begins to tell the audience about all of the things I do on a daily basis. She even told them that I made my outfit the night before. Marilyn Kelly then asked me to stand up and model my outfit. The audience applauded in disbelief. Here is my moment in the spotlight! Shortly after, they asked for home viewers to call in with question or comments. I will never forget the comment made by one caller who said, “I used to be the same way.” What she said next came back to haunt me, “You can’t keep running at that pace. You will eventually give out and have a nervous breakdown like I did. It was my body’s way of shutting down and saying you’re doing too much!” I immediately thought to myself, “Oh that will never happen to me.” The show continued and it was a wonderful experience.

After the show, I continued to wear the cape of supermom. About five years later, I found myself in the deep dark valley of depression. There are no capes in this valley. It seemed to be filled with Kryptonite, for my heart was heavy, my soul was empty and my outlook was bleak. I recognized that I had saved everyone but myself. Who would rescue me? It was during this time of darkness in my life, that I remembered my moment in the spotlight. However, my thoughts were not about the limo ride to the TV station, the green room, or the applause from the audience. This time, I did not see the spotlight as much as I heard the voice of wisdom that came from the caller, who said, “You can’t continue at that pace, you will give out.” It was those words that helped me find my way out of the darkness of depression and to leave the cape behind. After much soul searching and seeking Divine wisdom, I  was humbled and learned the second greatest command, “love my neighbor as I love MYSELF.” (Luke 10:27) I recognized that I loved everyone else at the expense of myself. I now understand the beauty of self-care. I have learned how to fill myself up and give from a reservoir instead of painfully giving from an empty soul and spirit (cup). It is one of my passions in life to share the lesson learned from my moment in the spotlight with as many women as possible.  So I say ladies… Don’t wait 5 years to take off your cape and fill your soul and spirit!

Join me on the March 28th for Coffee with Cathy as we discuss guilt free self-care.  Visit my website to register.

47 thoughts on “Spotlight”

  1. This sounds like a excited and eye opening experience, thanks for sharing every piece of advice you give goes a long way!

    1. My pleasure Dana! It is an awesome experience. There is a wealth of knowledge, wisdom and understanding in this community of women, as you can see from the comments. Most of all we support one another without judgement. I hope to see you on the 28th! You won’t regret it!

  2. thank you for being vulnerable and sharing, Cathy- I feel like the ugly duckling who just wandered into the flock of swans and “found her own kind!”

    1. You’re very welcome Lisa…this is a beautiful community of women. Love your analogy. I am forever blessed to be in the middle of this “brewing process.” I hope you can join us on the 28th, you will not be disappointed. Waddle on over with your coffee cup in hand and sip Coffee with Cathy;-) See you soon my friend.

  3. I appreciate you sharing and giving of yourself not only weekly, but daily. You are the voice that so many of the women in the world are trying to find. You are still Superwoman, you have learned your lesson and now managing it at a more productive pace. I’m sure if we spent one day in your shoes, we would all concur. you’ve lost the cape, now your constantly filling our hearts and cups. Thank you for that, My Shero!!!

    1. Wow! Thank you Roz, if anyone would know what my days are like it would be you;-) When you are able to work your passion, it doesn’t seem like work at all. I’m forever blessed to be able to share my gifts and talents with others and receive so much in return. (1 Corinthians 7:7)
      Thank you Roz for your love and support. You just filled my cup;-)

  4. PS – SINCE I am a person who NEEDS to express how I am feeling or I WILL die inside, I NEED to say this …Your topic ” spotlight ” was express greatly, I could feel the emotion as I read it. I just wanted to say Our Heavenly Father, your husband and your family are NOT the only ones who love you.— You are loved by the many many many women who may not be able to be vulnerable or strong enough to express themselves . KEEP UP THE GOODWORK! — You are beautiful inside and out. I am cheering for you and all your personal goals

    1. Wow!!! Thank you Lisa…I’m speechless. You have said it all. Your comments are like a shot of espresso to my soul. I’m encouraged to continue this brewing process. Thank you for your love and support.

    1. My pleasure Kemi…I’m glad you found comfort in my experience. Keep up the hard work with your family. It doesn’t go unnoticed;-) Thank you for your support;-)

  5. Wow. I just want to say thank you for creating such a forum for women to be able to express themselves so warm and tender without fear of judgement. This blog took me back to a very emotional period in my life. I was fighting the tears back. I too thought I was supposed to be superwoman and found out everyone was happy but me and I went through counseling sessions for years until I was strong enough to be okay with my imperfections. They are what makes me be me and its okay. I look back and see how much I’ve grown and it makes me happy about all the things good and bad I went through in my life. Thank you again for sharing your soul in this blog it definitely gives me courage to share openly and honestly. It touched me in a special way.

    1. Awwwww…you’re very welcome Sheila! Thank you for bearing your soul as well. I thought long and hard about publishing this one. I felt very vulnerable, I prayed about it Sunday night, and woke up early Monday morning and hit the “publish” key. I’m so happy I did. I am honored to be able to share and create a space for women to openly express themselves and be open to the brewing process. Great things are coming through the filter. I love the person you’ve become! I’m so proud of you! Thank you for you love and support.

  6. Thanks for reflecting back I remember walking that journey with you and when I saw your outcome It made me the person I’m today . Thank you so much for always finding a way out to keep building within myself and following the wisdom from above.

    1. You’re very welcome. There is no wisdom like “the wisdom from above.” Our journey together has been a very special one. It is our desire to be spiritual women focused on pleasing Jehovah has kept our friendship pure and genuine. I appreciate your loyalty as a friend Jeanetta. Thank you for your love and support.

  7. Let me try this again.
    Explode or implode with our super…
    Some people explode when they try to be a super…. This is why we have prisons and graveyards. They decided to be destructive instead of constructive.
    Most people implode when they try to be a
    super…. They end up using vices that take them to some deep dark places that they never return from or they/their family end up with scars that it will take paradise to heal. Then there are those that realize are imploding. As they’re getting
    out of the shower, they notice bald spots on the back of their head, and a rash on their torso that looks like a blowtorch was used on it.
    At this point, it’s do or die; sink or swim. Take the cape off and put the gloves on. Fight for your very existence, but do so with temper, deep respect and tact.

    1. LOL…LOL…Barb, we’ve been friends for over 30 years. You never cease to amaze me with your sense of humor. I’ve experienced so many emotions in reading all of the responses to this blog. Thank you for being who you are and always being able to have “real talk” about a situation and still make me laugh. They say we either fight or flight…looks like your standing your ground and fighting for balance without the cape! You go girl!!! I love it! Thank you for your love and support.

  8. Cathy, it takes courage to be transparent with your own life lessons. I can relate having had a mother who had a breakdown. So as women we must learn to empower others and delegate the small stuff. When we take the cape off we allow ourselves to be human with needs and feelings.

    1. Ahhhh…well said Birni. We are not super human, but human with needs and feelings. Beautiful. Once we take off the cape, we begin to notice our feelings and most often at this point it’s anger. Why do we have to get mad before we listen to our inner voice??? A thought we must brew. Remember, “we don’t stew…we brew.” Thank you for your support Birni.

  9. As always, Nicely done sister! It seems to me there are two “camps” of women in the wife/mother role……those who wish they would have spent more time with their families as they were working hard at their jobs to make ends meet (my experience) ……and those who were “super mom” (your experience). In both situations, you give of yourself so much there is little left over. Glad we both finally found some balance. Wish I had done it sooner! As we are nearing our first Anniversary of Coffee with Cathy, I am so grateful for strategies and advice you have provided regarding self-care. I love meditation, journaling and massages! I chuckle every time I fly at your comment that “Even the airlines remind you to put your own oxygen mask on first!”

    1. Thank You Cindy! It has been an awesome year. I’m so thankful for all of the ladies who have been there for the first sip. It is amazing to see the growth in each and everyone of us. Yes, balance is the key! Although I learned it the hard way…I’m glad I had my moment in the spotlight, it forced me to find the balance and once I found my way out of the valley, I promised myself never to return. I have a daily self-care routine and “I don’t leave home without it!” See you soon my fellow barista!

  10. Cathy,
    Your honestly and willingness to share your life experiences is extremely comforting. Thank you for empowering me to remove the cape and pick up my soulful and spiritual cup and take a sip.

    1. Awwww…thank you Deb. I feel propelled and compelled to share my story. I have spent time with literally hundreds of women and I can see where they are in life and most are not aware that they are wearing the cape for I myself was not aware. This is just a small way of trying to help other women find the balance. I hope you can join us on the 28th. You will not be disappointed. Thank you for your love and support. I miss you;-)

  11. OMGOODNESS! A SUPERWOMAN U WERE! What a coincidence that I was on that same show as a teenmom! I was asked to be on the show at the time by my mentor at Catholic Social Services! I loved her! The show was to highlight successful teenmoms who had overcome their circumstances. It was a blessing and a curse at the same time! When I look back at the tape it’s really not cute at all lol! Anyway back to the subject at hand. This particular blog subject hit home for me tremendously! I so appreciate your constant transparency and vulnerability to let us in and share great moments in your life that teach us so much! Parenting is such a wonderful responsibility but it sometimes creates a codependency in parents when we haven’t had the opportunity to find ourselves yet. This was my life before my children became adults. I felt like they were all I had and I put my all into Them. As they began to grow away from me and establish their own lives, I fell into a deep depression. I was losing my “EVERYTHINGS”. I have since been on a journey to find myself and God’s purpose for my life. I am still adjusting to being a mother of adults and working to be the best ME I can become with the help of God and his angel (Cathy Mott)!

    1. I am humbled and blown away by your level of sharing. Thank you so much for sharing your brewing process with our community of women. I am forever changed by this blogging experience. I had to pray about this blog because it was very emotional for me to relive it on this level. I prayed last night and woke up with clarity. I feel this is part of my ministry to share, to love, and to support women of all ages. I love your story as well. One thing we say at Coffee with Cathy is, “we don’t just go through trials…we GROW through trials.” KiKi…I can truly see your growth from the time we met four years ago. You have been a blessing in my life. Thank you for your love and support. See you on the 28th. I can’t wait!

  12. This blog encourages those in that dark place that it doesn’t have to be dark, they don’t have to hide and I am willing to bet as women we have all been there, are there or will be there.
    Thank you Cathy! And what do you mean “moment”?? The spotlight follows you daily, you sunshine you! XO

    1. Awwww..thank you Lori. We are natural born nurturers and we love our families so much. We just tend to forget about ourselves. We get caught up in their cute little faces and the amazing things our children say and do (yes, I’m talking about Ms. Lydia and Aubrey;-) and we forget about ourselves. We forget that we can be better wives, mothers, friends, teachers, etc. with a full cup! Let’s put our capes down and pick up our coffee cups. See you on the 28th.

  13. I truly appreciate your words. I am learning this as I have so many hats to wear, while dealing with different illnesses. Thanks for the words of wisdom!

    1. You’re so very welcome Candace. Learning to accept our limitations is very difficult, but if we can remember what our Heavenly Father says at Micah 6:8. Sometimes we expect more from ourselves than He does. I constantly have to remind myself of this scripture and His perfect love. Thank you Candace for your love and support.

  14. What a relief in the race of being superwoman..why is it guilt when all we want is to be good at what is a very hard thing …good parenting and if married a capable wife..but thru the hurdles we can get lost in the shuffle of who am I and what am I to do now we forget ourselves and clunk out what a very heavy load women carry but not unable to I to must find the balance of being a single mom widow as well to stop forgetting about me thank you for sharing and really needed this post.

    1. You’re welcome Monique. I think we forget because our hearts are so big and nurturing really does feel good, until we’re empty. Finding balance is something we have to work at daily. I often examine the example that Jesus set. He would rise early in the morning an go off by himself to talk to his Heavenly Father. (Mark 1:35) That was his way of replenishing because he knew he would be giving all day. We have to replenish on a daily basis, because as women we are constant care givers. The key is finding what works for you. What nurtures your soul and spirit. Hope you can join us on the 28th as we discuss different brews of self-care. Thank you for your support.

    1. I’m glad you were encouraged by my post. It’s a constant struggle for many, but it’s worth every effort to care for ourselves. You’re worth! 😉

  15. Wow!!! Thanks for sharing. I think we who are wives, mothers caregivers, etc all try to wear that cape. Im learning as well to always give my best for others but never at the expense of self. Thanks again I really needed that reminder.

    1. You’re very welcome Johnetta! It’s funny how that cape tends to be one size fits all. We are leaving the cape behind and picking up our coffee mugs and giving ourselves permission to find the balance! I’m so loving our growth process;-) Thank you for your love and support my sister.

  16. Super… well I guess you can say I am wearing some type of Cape at present. Within the past 4 years I’ve been in a whirl wind of changes. I lost a sibling, got a divorce after a 12 year relationship, got remarried and now have not only a 9 year old daughter but 3 step children ages 12, 18 and 19. That’s quite a transition and half the time I think “I can’t handle this life”. Cathy, do you have any suggestions for me? I do not want to end up on the 5 o’clock news :). Joking of course.

    1. LOL..I couldn’t help but laugh, because I know your personality so well and can see your face. No doubt your life is very busy, as most of us women are. One suggestion I can make is start with small blocks of time in doing things for yourself. Even if you have to wake up 15 minutes early to do something that fills you up on a daily basis. The key is taking the time to find out what fills you up. That is the first step. The first step for me is to nurture my spirit by daily bible reading. 2 Cor. 4:16 It energizes me. I make it special, I light a candle, get a cup of coffee and on some mornings I watch the sunrise while I’m nurturing my spirit. I try to make it an experience instead of a task. We’ll talk soon my friend. Thank you for your love and support Benika…you can do this. I believe in you!

  17. Very interesting Cathy, I know what you are talking about. I am that exact same way, always running to help others and neglecting myself. I did also feel depressed, angry and exhausted because I felt like I was on a hamster wheel and couldn’t get off. More and more people just needed my help , at first I liked it but then it wore me down and I blamed them. But it was my fault for not setting my pace. I have now learned through our sessions at Coffee with Cathy, how to hang my cape up and only put it on for me. I am still working on some people who need to step up and handle their own business. But how do you save yourself from people who can’t seem to figure it out even though you tried showing them the way.

    1. Wow Keeshi..thank you for sharing. I’ve seen your growth. I think you first have to decide if the people who can’t seem to respect your boundaries are unaware that they are crossing them or don’t care. That will then determine your plan of action with them. Healthy relationships should provide an “interchange of encouragement.” (Romans 1:12) Let’s open this up for the brewing process.

  18. How well I remember those words , I have been there. thank you for sharing your experience. I truly hope this will inspired others to recognize their limitation when taking care of others.

    1. You’re welcome Linda. From the many responses and the level of sharing I think many are. I feel blessed to be a part of the brewing process. Looking forward to seeing you on the 28th. Thank you for your love and support.

  19. Cathy, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog today! I can identify with a lot of what you experienced. The best part of all is that you learned and applied the lesson. Thank you for sharing. You truly have a gift!

    1. Thank You Maxine! I so glad you enjoyed the experience. As women we share so many common bonds from which can we learn and encourage one another. It seems like in our fast paced environment we don’t get to sit and share our learning lessons with one another as the women from my mother’s generation. I’m happy to have this forum. Thank you for your support.

  20. Your experience makes me want to cry. Very beautiful,and helpful to see that I’m not the only one going through a depression. Thank you for pointing out how important it is to love myself.

    1. Being single and not having any children I have not had the experience of feeling drain emotionaly with parenthood or neglecting myself physically because I am only responsible for me! – There are so MANY MANY MANY – super moms and wifes who make many sacrifices because they are UNselfish when it comes to raising there kids or being a good wife.Even though I cant relate to somethings I still have something to say because I am STILL an women — So here are my feelings and thoughts……..
      I ABSOUBLUTELY LOVE being a women and LOVE the role our creator has given women. A women role is POWERFUL, having the ability to have a child and raise a child is a beautiful gift. A mother has so much power she can abuse that power or she can help guide a human being into become a unique idividual ,an asset to society! The role of a women is a privilleage that can be a joy or be a bitter experience.Due to the fact that women were created to be nurtures and the help mate it is understandable why we can give and give and give and forget and neglect ourslves. Working on Labor and delivery many people assume I like my job because I am with the newborn babies. Yes, I enjoy the babies but that is not why I LOVE my job, my MAIN reason why I enjoy what I do is because my passion is catering and helping women. Seeing all the pain women go through given birth,seeing what happens to our bodies physically and emotionally and then having the huge responsibility in raising a child is a WHOLE LOT OF WORK!!! —- EVERYDAY, I go to work on labor and delivery I am reminded of so MANY things – one of the things I am reminded of is…”WOMEN NEED WOMEN” and YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU because if you dont you wont have nothing to give anybody and you will be so burnout you wont even see all the joy and blessings around you because you are so drain. When I was younger I loved the moive steel magnolias, but it wasnt until I got older and started watching my mom, single mothers and just ALL women in general that I TRULY began to deeply appreciate the title of that movie. WOMEN and mothers are beautiful and deliciate like flowers YET we are strong and tough as STEEL!!!—Cathy I told you this before and i want to say this again this blog and what you are doing is beautiful and healthy and appreciated –WHY??? – Because its a reminder that when mothers or women are burned out or are feeling down or depressed they are NOT alone. It reminds me of the scripture at 1Peter 5:9 — which says that no matter what our tribulation or suffering is we are NOT ALONE, others are experiencing the same issues and troubles. One of Barbra Streisand songs is People who need People, this blog is a reminder that even though we are all different we are alike in so many ways and when we feel overworked or down – the feeling we our experiencing is mutual to thousands and thousands of women all over. Jehovah is so WISE and AWESOME, he has given us another gift to help us endure — we have each other!!!!!

    2. Awwww…I’m happy to share my soul for the benefit of others. Yes, it is very important to love yourself. It is sometimes difficult when you are in that dark place. It’s okay to ask for help to deal with your depression. I know you are surrounded by people who love you. Go ahead and extend your hand and reach out for help. You will be surprised at what comes your way. I recommend the first plea for help be our Heavenly Father who can help in ways we never thought possible. (Philipians 4:13)

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