Tears…babies shed many of them and it is our job as a loving mommy to try and stop these tears from falling or at least limit the amount of tears they shed. The less they shed the better we feel. Because babies can’t talk, crying is their special way of communicating to us that something is wrong. It’s amazing how we as mothers can distinguish between the hungry cry, the fussy cry, the angry cry, or the, ” I just want to be held” cry. We at this point in our lives are the master at listening to the tone of the cry. This even continues beyond the toddler stage, but there comes a time when we tell our young children, “use your words, don’t cry, tell mommy what’s wrong.” We even teach them to wipe away the tears. At that moment we listen…we want to know what has evoked our precious children to cry. We want to fix it.
Well what about us as adults what do we do with our tears. For a few years now, I’ve made a conscious decision to observe the crocodile tears that adults shamefully or even secretly shed, including my own. Tears are quiet communicators, but they can yell a story to those who will listen. It’s interesting how we can produce the tears, but not know the story or take the time to discover what’s lurking behind the “tears of a clown.” The mask we wear that some how holds back the flood gates of tears that could provide an emotional cleansing. I personally refer to crying as an “emotional enema.”
Think about the last time you cried, or observed someone begin to cry…what’s the first thing they do? They immediately wipe them away and then apologize for crying. Why??? Can we stop and stoop down low as we would with a child and examine the story those tears are trying to tell?That story has been there for years, but no one is listening. “Who will cry for the little girl inside of us?” Use your words…allow yourself to listen to your story. The psalmist David knew the value of tears, for he asked God, “Do put my tears in your skin bottle.” (Psalm 56:8) He wanted our Heavenly Father to know the story behind them, remember them and honor them. David knew his tears had a story.
I well know the tears of grief. I remember what they taste like and the sound that accompanied those type of tears. I can remember the hollow feeling and the void of losing someone. I can remember feeling like an orphan at the orphanage and wanting someone to chose me on, “adopt a child” day. Losing my mom was like no one showed up that day to chose me. That was the story behind my tears of grief.
Tears not only flow in sadness…there are happy tears. I recently experienced a gut busting laugh when my husband and I went out for date night. Remember, I’m still in the process of observing tears, so my husband told a funny joke and I couldn’t stop laughing. I laughed so hard that I momentarily lost my breath, then I began to hold my stomach and the tears rolled down my face. I remember what they felt like and the pace in which they rolled. I wanted to stay in this moment. As I listened to the deeper story, I could use my words to describe it to myself, thereby being able to access the beauty of that moment at anytime. So here it is ladies, I was amazed that I could be married to this man for 32 years and he could still make me laugh like this. I was so happy that I could feel just as giddy as I did on our first date. That’s the story behind those tears.
For your Journal: There are an array of emotions between happiness and grief that may cause us to produce tears and then mask them. So ladies….If your tears could tell a story, what would they say? Please, by all means use your words.