I was recently asked to share “words of wisdom” for a lasting marriage. As I approach my 32nd wedding anniversary I had to stop and think of what lesson I’ve learned that would be most beneficial to new couples. My response was, “learn how to create Adam and Eve moments,” so as to truly be a complement to your husband. You see when Adam was created, he spent many, many years alone working on his God given assignment; that of naming the animals. I would imagine this took quite some time. Adam no doubt studied the animals so as the give them the appropriate name highlighting their characteristics. If you have ever seen a sloth, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Adam perfectly named this animal.
Finally after Adam completed this assignment God told Adam, “it is not good for you continue by yourself, I’m going to make a helper for you, a complement.” (Genesis 2:18) Adam was elated to meet his new bride. He probably could not wait to show her around their beautiful garden home and introduce her to all of the animals he’d named. She no doubt was amazed at his wisdom and the choice of names he decided to give to each animal. These had to be beautiful moments they both shared and enjoyed together which only strengthened their relationship I’m sure.
Well we all know what happened after that! Their sin certainly changed the dynamics of the family unit. (Gen 3:16) Fast forward thousands of years after Adam and Eve, are there times in our relationships with our mates, or other men in our lives that we can allow them to feel the joy of teaching us women something that is dear to them? Let’s face it women, we are very smart and can be efficient at doing so many things. I recently read an article in Essence magazine and it referred to women as “Chief Everything Officers.” Who knew…we are all CEO’s. Just imagine what it’s like to try to lead women today who are now holding down a home and career and sometimes in leadership roles. How are men ever going to have an “Adam and Eve” moment? If you have good men in your lives who are working hard to earn your love and respect, then why not look for opportunities to create them.
When I’m spending time with my husband and he is sharing something dear to him that I already know, I ask myself…Which need is greater at this moment, for him to teach me something or my need to show him how much I know? Most often the need for him to teach me something is greater, and I’m okay dwelling in that moment. I did not always feel this way, but with age comes wisdom…sitting in this “Adam and Eve moment” teaches me something new about my husband, it is not a battle of the minds, it is two hearts joining together to share something special. I try to listen to different nuances of the subject and read his body language rather than thinking about what I know. This has been a beautiful transition.
This weekend I had another Adam and Eve moment if you will. My son gave his first public Bible discourse on the subject. “How the Bible Transforms Lives.” As I was sitting in the audience the overwhelming feeling that kept dancing through my mind and simmering into my heart was, “Wow…my son is teaching me.” As I sat in this place, I was saturated with many pleasant emotions such as, gratitude, pride, love, happiness and joy, just to name a few. Some of these emotions could have been inhibited if I would have continued to see this young man as just “a boy.” (Jeremiah 1:6.7) I was happy to be in this trans-formative state of allowing my son to teach me. “Another Adam and Eve moment,” indeed!
I am committed to looking for opportunities to create these moments in other relationships in my life, with my dad, my brother, my nephews and the list goes on. From where I stand, I will always be learning something because in these moments we are not sharing head knowledge, but with the right perspective we are sharing pieces of our heart.
Okay ladies…had any “Adam and Eve moments” lately? Let’s brew something special…let me hear your thoughts.